The difference between being UnSociable and being “Undateable”

And why it can mean the difference between a second or even third date…

Good Social Media is supposed to be about listening to and engaging your audience on their terms. About earning their buy-in so they voluntarily champion your cause, organization or product.

It’s a lesson most businesses have either abandoned or were too lazy to learn in the first place. The result is marketing that’s the same as it ever was; companies manipulating whatever platforms they can in order to tell you what they want you to hear or what they think you want to hear with the ultimate goal of getting you to listen to what they want from you.

It’s broadcast marketing and it’s not very social. In fact it’s down right UnSociable.

This has played out every May 4th for the last several years. Companies around the world try to latch on to the now flaccid catch phrase, “May the Fourth Be With You,” in hopes that by clinging to a “trending” topic they’ll be seen.

Here’s some money. Now make me viral.

It’s a deep space effort to make something “go viral” that not only misses the opportunity to connect with people, it also misses the true legacy of the Star Wars mythos. The foundation of Social Media is a “symbiotic” give-and-take relationship between individuals; businesses and their customers.

In short, you can’t force “The Force”.

Fortunately my faith in Social Media humanity was restored by another, much different experience, I had in the same week.

It wasn’t UnSociable.

It was UnDateable.

An NBC sitcom based on a group of friends who hang out at a bar in Detroit, UnDateable was scheduled to shoot its crucial second-to-last show of the season – LIVE. Crucial, not just for the nuances of live television, but because all the players involved knew that within 72-hours the network would be deciding if they still had jobs.

I heard about it via tweets from cast member Ron Funches (@ronfunches) talking about how the cast would be live-tweeting during the broadcast.

I replied to his tweet and retweeted because I genuinely like the show and loved the idea.

No matter what your business, convince a fan to spread the word on your behalf – and you’ve scored.

Within minutes my tweet got favorited and I started getting followed by @boynamedluccy (also known as Chris Luccy) one of the writers for UnDateable. Conversation between Chris and I lead to similar interactions with other writers from the show. (Insert group hug here).

Bingo Bango!

Just like that and I felt connected. I was vested in the cause.

The broadcast was a huge success. The show not only got picked up for a third season, when it returns next Fall it will be the first time in 50 years NBC will broadcast a live weekly sitcom.

I may be over estimating, but I suggest the casts’ Social Media endeavors – or at a minimum the way they handled it – played a role. 

It’s not just what they did… it’s how they did it.

They were social. Wonderfully so.

They were honest. Real. Authentic.

They came to the party offering treats and asked for absolutely nothing in return.

What they got – without ever once asking – were brand champions.

No jokes, no pictures of cats. No promises of favors or favoritism, no YouTube videos, no coupons, discounts or buy-one get-one free offers.

Just honest-to-goodness human sincerity.

Chris let me know staff would be live video streaming during the show via a new mobile app. In affect they where putting me, and others like me, “in the band” with the kind of “backstage pass” never seen before.

By the time the show started Chris and I had shared briefly about our families. He was no longer some Los Angles writer working for a monster network, he was a regular dude. A guy with a wife, a small child, a newborn baby and an obvious passion for his work.

Oh, and a desire to keep his job.

What did I do in my new self-titled role of brand champion? I’m glad you asked.

• I reached out to my ex-wife who had a Nielsen box and asked her to watch in order to boost ratings. Yes, my ex-wife.
• I told everybody I ran into what was happening that night.
• I posted the event on my Facebook page to more than 600 friends most of whom had never heard of the show. When I said “UnDateable” they thought I was talking about my college career.

Hi-ho Hi-ho

While my family sat down to watch the show, I went to work.

Literally.

Laptop on, Social dashboard running and my cell phone by my side. I followed the show and the behind the scenes video streams with a single purpose – to do as much as I could to support the show via Social Media.

And I wasn’t alone.

So many others followed suit the topic started trending on Twitter and people were tweeting and retweeting more than a week later.

While executives might not be able to measure it with charts and diagrams you don’t have to use Jedi mind tricks to know what Chris and the writers did had a much greater and longer lasting affect than anything NBC did that night.

Or since.

Stay Golden; be Social

The golden rule of Social Media abides.

You have to be Social.

Not clever. Not witty. Not even funny.

You have to be real.

You have to be genuine.

You have to be willing to bring something to the party without expecting anything in return.

The good news? No matter what your business, group or cause you can achieve the same results. The bad news is, you have to work at it and there are no shortcuts.

You can’t buy “genuine”.

Even if you think you have “The Fourth” on your side.